My Speeding Turtle – How Eldest Got a Speeding Ticket

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Eldest has always been a turtle.

When she was a tot she was mesmerized by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a passion she kept all the way through high school.

TurtleWhen she learned to drive, she quickly got the nickname turtle, as she was always “turtling along” on the highway. Most parents worry about their kids speeding. We were the only set of parents who pleaded with her to “step on the gas.”  ”Peddle to the metal,” her dad would shout, while sitting patiently as the passenger.

The rest of us drive on the faster side, so her caution is odd to come by.  She doesn’t like highways largely because everyone is speeding and forcing her to up her game.

This weekend, my two daughters are driving together roundtrip from Boston to Pittsburgh. It’s a girl’s road trip to support eldest in a job interview and give her highway support, not to mention sharing the driving of a 10-hour jaunt from the Northeast to the almost Midwest.  As they got up early this morning to get a jump start on the long journey back to Beantown, it’s a bit of an irony that a zealous NY State Trooper stopped Eldest for speeding!

She was going in the mid-70s on an empty 65 mile road. How often all of us have done that! How odd that she’d be the one to get stopped and ticketed!

And so, our economy trip letting the girls drive out rather than fly, has been compromised. The good news is that my two are traveling together in support of each other, and arriving safely.  That’s my true mother’s day present today. The ticket is just an annoying  cost.

Flower Power: A weekend spent happily in the dirt

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It’s not quite Mother’s Day yet, but since we’re now in South Jersey, spring planting can begin a bit ahead of the standard schedule.  Having an unusual weekend off (or what I continually fantasize is a normal weekend for other people), we headed for the nursery to get a jump on spring planting.

This year, I had a plan. I pre-counted all the pots I had, including the planters that sit on the deck railing, and I had color scheme for both the pansies planned for the planters and the geraniums planned for the pots.  What I hadn’t planned for was the husband.

  1. The husband loves an annual plant that wasn’t in my plan. Coleus.
  2. He loves tons of different colors. I was going for a new, coordinated look.
  3. He adores using coupons.  I wanted the expensive variety of pansies off coupon.

The good news is that the weather was overcast yesterday and perfect for planting.  I largely kept to my plan, but compromised with alternating boxes of color-coordinated, yet varied pansies.  I stuck to my guns for the expensive variety of pansies, because I do believe it makes a difference.  I found spots for his beloved coleus. It gets showy by the end of the summer, but at worst it will take over my gerber daisies. At best, it will grow over where the daisies fail to thrive.

And yet again, I’ve re-learned:

  • Color matter
  • Plants matter
  • Scent matter
  • The time and money in short-lived annuals are worth it because the result is so wonderful.

The  flowers already make me happier and have put me a summer frame of mind.  That includes looking forward to visitors to share the new floral scents coming from my geraniums, enjoying the sun sets off the deck, and sipping wine.  Open invitation. Come on down!

What Motherhood and Social Media Have in Common

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What do social media and motherhood have in common?  I learned the hard way this year. You can never stop – not for a minute, not for day, and certainly not for more than a year.

On the motherhood front – I’m almost an empty nester.  That does not imply the end of motherhood.  It does imply the ongoing state of long-distance motherhood. The rule of thumb is if your child doesn’t call (or instant message, or email), good times are being had by all.  You may want to check in  just for giggles, but no news really is good news.

If your phone is ringing with tweets, messages, video chat requests, or even a call, something is awry.  It can be as small as the need for more vitamins, or as large as what to do in the midst of the ongoing bomb threats at the University of Pittsburgh campus. This last one is all too real at the moment. More to come on this when we feel on safer ground.

On the social media front – I now have more blogs, Twitter, Pinterest and Google+ accountsthan ever before.  To stay vibrant, they all need care and feeding.  I took almost two years off to attend to my real life, and they all went to hell and a hand basket.  Bringing them back up to health is not easy.  I brought in a professional.

When you’re a harried mother, they tell you to get a babysitter and go out for the night.  I did the same as a harried blogger.  I hired a social sitter (and will be happy to send along the recommendation) and went out to dinner with my husband.

Remembering passwords, user names, logins etc. is similar to trying to keep my children’s friends names straight.  It was easy enough in first grade (or when all I did was Facebook), but by high school it was increasingly difficult, and college is almost impossible. Without a face, how does one remember who’s who?

So, I’m recommitted to straightening out my digital life. I’ve found my real life is now too entwined with my digital life for me to ignore either. Finding time for myself now includes finding time for blogging, tweeting, Facebook posts and the list goes on. Pinterest, like all last born children of large families, suffers the most. I just can’t spend the time nurturing it. At least not until I get the older ones on more solid ground.

Meanwhile, the real kids are really OK. I’m proud to report that I was on LinkedIn and Pinterest first although both have now dabbled in tweets, blogs and are Facebook pros. As they say, the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree.

10 Fingers and 10 Toes

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When you’re first expecting a child, some people ask “What do you want?” referring to the child’s sex.  The classic mother-to-be’s response is: “A healthy child with 10 fingers and 10 toes.” And, when the child is first born, those features are quickly checked by the mother before a deep breath of relief is sighed. All is right with the world.

As children grow older we tend to impose new standards on our desires for them – may they play nice with others, not get bullied, go to religious school, whisper in public, and keep family secrets in the family.

As they move through teen years, we hope they don’t get pierced in odd places, join the gay alliance in support rather than in affiliation, don’t become drug addicts, don’t DWI, don’t become a teenage parent, and the list goes on.  Later, we hope they don’t marry out of the religion, or get snipered by terrorists, or travel the world without getting hijacked. We’ll deal with whatever happens, but we hope against hope for only good things to happen. We pray for safety even while preaching “take risks.”

When my brood were in middle school, Columbine happened in Denver. It was akin to when Kent State occurred during my own college years.  A sense of safety was permanently ruptured. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time took on new meaning. Even the hallowed halls of academia were not safe.

Lately, youngest’s college is being attacked with a rash of bomb threats. I won’t say too much about it now. I could bring her home, but hibernation is not an option. It’s only a matter of time before she’ll have a different close encounter with other crazies.

And, perhaps that’s what it’s all about.  At some point we all need to come to terms with the elusiveness of safety.  All we can wish for our kids is that they live as long and safely and happily well adjusted as possible with 10 fingers and 10 toes. And if even if the appendage count is not possible, it’s not the end of the world. One can live without thumbs. It’s the living that’s important. Everything else is just gravy.

Knock. Knock. I’m Back to Blogging

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It’s been awhile since I’ve tapped on your door – or e-mail box. In fact, it’s been close to two years.

I took a hiatus to regain sanity from moving South, having a husband toying with a near death experience, sending two kids to college, and starting a new job.

I had said I would blog while the kids were in high school and didn’t feel there was much to write about once I was an almost empty nester. But, not one for long phone conversations, or ongoing Facebook posts, I’ve missed having my blog to stay in touch with friends and gain perspective on my ongoing personal sitcom.

Thanks to a push by Apple in discontinuing my blog service, I was in danger of losing all past blog posts.  It was too much like losing and old friend before its time. Then, with the terrific help of a knowledgeable friend who knew how to painlessly set me up with a new server and blog platform, I’m back in the blogging business.

Unlike previous posts, I won’t email subscribers with new posts except for this first time. After this, I’ll post the links on Facebook and hope you either friend me, or if we’re already friends and you’ll click through.  It’s just one of the ways I’ll use social media differently two years later.

The first post is ready to go and will post tomorrow night. The kinks aren’t all worked out, but I’m stumbling through remembering how I used to do things and learning how I have to do things now. Pictures will change as might the name. Nothing remains the same, but I’m not yet up to changing everything.

Hoping you’re happy to hear from me, and I’m looking forward to hearing from you.  Because if there’s one thing I miss in South Jersey, it’s all of you!